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Diary of an Ass Monkey
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Asses are the Human race's favorite thing. We like them on each other. We like them on magazine covers. We even like them on babies. When we are alone we like to scratch them. When there's a fire we like to warm them. And whom among us, in a lonely moment, hasn't reached back for a discreet fondle? We love our asses.

When God gave us our asses he had to stick them round back just so we wouldn't sit and stare at them all day. Cause when God made the ass he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye Angels, I have created the ass, throughout the ages to come men and women will grab ahold of these and shout my name.'

[All photos on Ass Monkey Diary are
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the first choice for Web Design, Database
Development, and Networking.

Also, check out his musical stylings.]

aaron sorkin, acid, airships, arrested development, art, art deco, ass, asses, barbarella, barbecue, barbelith, barefeet, barefootedness, beer, belle & sebastian, bollywood, books, booze, buddha, butts, citrus, cocktails, cointreau, coltrane, comics, cryptonomicon, cuteness, dancing, darwyn cooke, david mack, doc savage, drinking, f2b, falafel, falling, fantastic planet, feet, fezes, film noir, flash gordon, flying cars, forbidden planet, fountains of wayne, francesca lia block, giant apes, girls, gossip, grant morrison, green tea, hal 9000, harold and maude, hefeweizen, hinduism, hollow earth, hong kong cavaliers, hot sauce, jangle, jazz, jesus christ superstar, jhonen vasquez, john coltrane, joss whedon, judas iscariot, kashi, kelly link, kissing, ladybug transistor, librarians, logan's run, lorrie moore, lost cities, luna, magnetism, maxfield parrish, mesmerism, michael moorcock, modernism, monkeys, mr. gone, music, mysticism, pas/cal, peter milligan, philadelphia, philip k. dick, photography, poi dog pondering, pokemon, pork roll, ramayana, refried beans, roaring twenties, sam kieth, sano ichiro, shag, sidecars, six feet under, skinnydipping, spinning, squid, surface, sushi, swimming holes, taco bell, tarzan, television without pity, tempura, the color orange, the long winters, the lucksmiths, the magnetic fields, the maxx, the o.c., the shins, the smiths, the sprites, the sun also rises, the sundays, the tao, this american life, tree houses, tripping, tushies, twee, under the radar, vargas, veronica mars, vertigo, voldo, voyeurism, wes anderson, whit stillman, wim wenders, women, words, writing, yo la tengo, yoko kanno, yuca