Diary of an Ass Monkey (assmonkeydiary) wrote,
Diary of an Ass Monkey

Declan's Last Entry

As I write this entry, someone is holding a gun to the side of my head. No, do not be alarmed. I do not truly fear for my life. And any violence that comes to me now is clearly deserved.

One month ago, I kidnapped my own brother in an attempt to steal away his Ass Monkey empire. I had him held prisoner in my basement and I made his website into my own personal playground. Yesterday, whether out of premonition or paranoia, I went to where he was being held and found not him, but only empty chains. As I left the house this morning, my brother Ass Monkey quickly grabbed me, holding a .38 to the small of my back.

He has given me this chance to come clean about what I have done, and to post one final entry. After that, he makes no promises except that I will live.

Goodbye, my patrons. It has been a pleasure to serve you.


Tags: barefoot

  • long time, no blog

    I've been ignoring this poor blog lately, so here's an update on what I've been up to. Saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World two weekends in a row. Love…

  • the novel is progressing

    The writing's been going pretty well lately. Since late February, I've been working on converting my extensive notes into prose and I'm now more than…

  • weekend

    Saturday, I managed to drag my slightly hungover self out of the house for the US vs. Ghana match. Such a bummer. They really did outplay us, but I…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.