Diary of an Ass Monkey (assmonkeydiary) wrote,
Diary of an Ass Monkey

Declan's Last Entry

As I write this entry, someone is holding a gun to the side of my head. No, do not be alarmed. I do not truly fear for my life. And any violence that comes to me now is clearly deserved.

One month ago, I kidnapped my own brother in an attempt to steal away his Ass Monkey empire. I had him held prisoner in my basement and I made his website into my own personal playground. Yesterday, whether out of premonition or paranoia, I went to where he was being held and found not him, but only empty chains. As I left the house this morning, my brother Ass Monkey quickly grabbed me, holding a .38 to the small of my back.

He has given me this chance to come clean about what I have done, and to post one final entry. After that, he makes no promises except that I will live.

Goodbye, my patrons. It has been a pleasure to serve you.


Tags: barefoot
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