Diary of an Ass Monkey (assmonkeydiary) wrote,
Diary of an Ass Monkey

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"Why are we blowing up the Moon when there's still so many things left to blow up here on Earth?"

Well, there's only about 22 hours left before America blows up the Moon. I hope you all take one last look at it tonight, because tomorrow at this time, it will be cracked clean in half like in the opening credits of Thundarr the Barbarian. Oceans will go crazy while oddly enough lunatics will suddenly become sane and leave their mental institutions with clean bills of health. Anyone wanna buy like a million straight jackets really cheap?

It is the werewolves, I suspect, that will be hardest hit by this. Those poor bastards.

But why, you may well ask, does America feel that it needs to bomb the Moon? Well, NASA claims they're looking for ice (hey, rocket scientists, I have some ice in my freezer if you need it that badly!), but I suspect they're actually trying to destroy the secret flying saucer base on the far side of the Moon, before those damn Moonmen can hit us first. Or maybe we're targeting one of those black monoliths from 2001. Stop evolving us against our will, monoliths!!!

Of course, there are some scientists who predict that it will blow up just like the planet Krypton, hurtling hundreds of lunar Supermen at us. If that is the case, it will be the duty of every citizen to arm themselves with pieces of moon rock, or lunanite as they call it, to defend ourselves from this threat.

Either way, you can watch the devastation here: http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/LCROSS/main/

And you can watch Bob and Dave from Mr. Show joke about it from the distant 1990s here: http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/LCROSS/main/

Tags: barefoot, science!, tan lines

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