Diary of an Ass Monkey (assmonkeydiary) wrote,
Diary of an Ass Monkey
assmonkeydiary

  • Music:

baby, come back!

Dear television stations,

I know that you're planning to leave me tomorrow. The truth is I've know for a while. No, I haven't read your diary, but the signs are evident. You just can't live with a man that has rabbit ears on his television. It's all digital or nothing with you. I understand, but I will still be saddened if I turn on my television tomorrow and see only static.

And yet I haven't made any effort to sign up for Cable or Direct TV or what have you, even though I know those things will bring you back to me. The truth is they all feel like a waste of money and a source of multiple new stupid addictions.

And I must admit that I have for some time been spying on you antics with the computer. I've taken all the best things that you've given to the others in your life, the things you held back from me, and I've burned them! Yes, I've burned them to discs and watched them that way.

What can I say? It seems that I'll never follow your rules, just as you won't be faithful enough to stay. But still I hope that you won't go, that you'll broadcast just a little bit longer. For old times sake. Think about it. It's all I ask.

xoxo,
Bruno

Tags: best of 2009, television
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