Diary of an Ass Monkey (assmonkeydiary) wrote,
Diary of an Ass Monkey
assmonkeydiary

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wayback wednesday: Little Red Corvette

I was so enjoying Prince's "Little Red Corvette" on the way into work today that I had to play it three times. It's such a great song that I just have to talk about the lyrics.

I guess I shoulda known
by the way you parked your car sideways
That it wouldn't last


One thing that has always confused me about this song is whether the "little red corvette" is strictly a metaphor or if there's also a real corvette this girl is driving. From this verse, it certainly seems like there is some make of automobile present. Either that or we're talking about some serious kama sutra stuff here.

See you're the kinda person
that believes in makin' out once
Love 'em and leave 'em fast


As we'll soon discover, Prince has dramatically underestimated the extent of her beliefs.

I guess I must be dumb
'Cuz you had a pocket full of horses
Trojan and some of them used


Some of you may be thinking "ew!" at that last line, but I find a lot to admire about her in it. First, she's a believer in safe sex, which I think we can all commend. Two, she doesn't litter. I hate seeing used condoms laying around the city. I've heard stories about people washing and reusing their condoms. I'm not certain that's what this lady's planning to do, but if so, she also gets points for recycling.

But it was Saturday night,
I guess that makes it all right
And you say what have I got to lose?


This is, I think we can all agree, a pretty goddamn air-tight philosophy.

And honey I say
Little red corvette
Baby you're much too fast
Little red corvette
You need a love that's gonna last


It's always surprising and cute when Prince says something kinda prudish.

I guess I shoulda closed my eyes
When you drove me to the place
where your horses run free


I love this part so much. Prince is like the poet laureate of sleeping around.

'Cuz I felt a little ill
When I saw all the pictures
Of the jockeys that were there before me


So does she photograph all her lovers during sex and decorate her apartment with the pictures? Or are they still in her car? Was there ever a car?

Believe it or not
I started to worry
I wondered if I had enough class


You know, I remember Prince being kind of being dick to Appollonia when they went down to the lake in Purple Rain, but I still think he's at least as classy as someone who shows potential lovers all the used condoms they've got in their pocket.

But it was Saturday night,
I guess that makes it all right
And you say, "Baby, have you got enough gas?


Clearly, since they're already at the place where her horses run free, we're speaking of metaphorical gas here.

Oh yeah, little red corvette
Baby you're much too fast,
yes your Little red corvette
You need to find a love that's gonna last, oh-oh
A body like yours oughta be in jail
'Cuz it's on the verge of bein' obscene


I bet that's a pickup line Prince has actually used.

Move over baby, gimme the keys
I'm gonna try to tame your
little red love machine


We can safely assume that even if there is one, Prince is definitely not talking about her car here.

Little red corvette, baby you're much to fast
Little red corvette, you need to find a love that's gonna last
Little red corvette, honey you got to slow down
Little red corvette, 'cuz if you don't
your gonna run little red corvette right in the ground
Right down to the ground


Prince comes off as a little controlling sometimes. He should really stick to "I" statments. They're less accusatory. I would like us to slow down. I am concerned about the speed at which we're going and the toll it make take on us. Nah....

U -- U -- U got to slow down
You're movin' much to fast
You need to find a love that's gonna last
Girl, you got an ass like I never seen
And the ride... I say the ride is so smooth
you must be a limousine


Ladies, when you've been praised by Prince, you know it.

Tags: action, music, stockings, wayback wednesdays
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