• Music: The Replacements - "Nightclub Jitters"

Speed Racer: the most fun you'll ever have at a movie (with your pants on)

I saw Speed Racer this weekend and oh holy hell, it was great! I know it got beaten up in the box office and by some critics who are unobservant of the ways of awesomeness, but you can ignore all that. I'm one of the least vocal people you'll ever see at a movie and I couldn't help but giggle aloud with pure joy throughout the entire movie.

Not only is it staggeringly perfect in recreating everything that was great about the original cartoon, it's also an amazingly good time in its own right. Great characters, excellent melodrama, heart-pounding action, hilarious comedy, and every single frame crammed with ultratechnicolor fun.

Now I'm not completely surprised that some people had trouble with it. Realism and physics weren't just ignored, they were guillotined on the steps of the palace. The visuals were downright hallucinogenic and the writing and acting both highly stylized. And yet, as disconcerting as all that is, it worked perfectly.

After the second and third Matrix movies, I was having my doubts, but this movie has forever proven to me the sheer genius of the Wachowski siblings. Buy your ticket, slouch down in your seat, turn off your expectations, and grip your armrests for dear life, because this movie is one of the best thrill rides ever.