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01 April 2008 @ 09:18 am
the monster in my kitchen  
Not a hoax! Not an April Fools prank!

This morning someone gave me a living thing.

I'm expected to lovingly feed and care for it a few days, cook and eat a portion of it, and then pass on what remains to someone else so that they can do the same.

There are two important rules: One: this creature cannot come into contact with metal (which, I believe, identifies it as one of the faerie folk). Two: you cannot keep it for more than ten days.

It's called Amish Friendship Bread, which I reckon is a triple misnomer. First off, it's more like cake than bread. I had some yesterday and it's quite a delicious little cinnamon cake. Second, I doubt the actual Amish use instant pudding in their recipes. And third, it's more like a chain letter than an act of friendship, although there is definitely something very friendly about it.

The basic idea is that each person feeds the yeast enough ingredients to keep it vital and growing and after you cook some, you have enough leftover to pass on to three other people. My mom was hit up by this bread a couple times back in the 70s. Heck, for all I know, this yeast could be descendants of the stuff she had in her kitchen thirty years ago. (Shouldn't it have evolved into sentience by now?) Back then it was called Monster Bread, which I think is a far better name. It's like a pokemon that you can eat!

So, if anyone in Philly would like to be the next one to take possession of the Amish monster friendship bread cake (due to pass on within a few days of sunday morning) please let me know and we can arrange how I'll deliver this bouncing, breathing, edible, baby monster to you.

ETA: I have one taker, but upon checking the recipe, I see that I'm supposed to give it to three different people... so two more are still available. Also this post is now the first result if you google "Amish monster" so I've got that going for me.

Listening to: Sweet - "Fox on the Run"
micah: davidlaerm on April 1st, 2008 02:17 pm (UTC)
so, it's like sourdough starter, but harder to pawn off on someone? weird. i've never heard of this before.
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: green waitressassmonkeydiary on April 1st, 2008 02:21 pm (UTC)
Yup, exactly like that.
micah: playmobillaerm on April 1st, 2008 02:18 pm (UTC)
also, i've just noticed this pic sadly suffers from JPG jaggies on her back. i thought it was a skin condition at first. :P
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: ballerina escapeassmonkeydiary on April 1st, 2008 02:21 pm (UTC)
Rats, I was hoping that was just my monitor!
theballadofyoko on April 1st, 2008 02:22 pm (UTC)
I'm predictable
pick me! pick me!
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: devilish tantrumassmonkeydiary on April 1st, 2008 02:26 pm (UTC)
Re: I'm predictable
Woo hoo! It's yours!

I must admit you were the first person I thought of when it was passed off to me.
theballadofyoko on April 1st, 2008 02:31 pm (UTC)
Re: I'm predictable
I've never tried Amish Friendship Bread, but I've heard about it from various people, and have wanted to see how it all works. Let me know how you want to do this exchange!
zantimisfit on April 1st, 2008 02:41 pm (UTC)
I have 2 questions about the rules:
If it can't touch metal then how do you cook it?
What happens if you keep it for more than 10 days?
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: king kong voyeurassmonkeydiary on April 1st, 2008 02:47 pm (UTC)
I'm curious if that rule only applies to the starter dough and not to the finished stuff that you cook. Although, you do have to grease the pans and dust them with sugar, so maybe that protects it.

Well, it keeps quadrupling in size, so if you keep it for more than ten days, then you'll have to 12 monster breads to deal with instead of just four!
everybody hates a tourist.dynamine on April 1st, 2008 03:01 pm (UTC)
i'd volunteer us, but, frankly, it's a lot of pressure that i have to pass it on!
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: monkey ballassmonkeydiary on April 1st, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
I won't lie to you. It is a very heavy responsibility.