ETA: According to the discussion at PhillyBlog, it was two low flying Navy fighter jets, kicking off the Navy-Temple football game. I shall consider myself shocked and awed.
So, I decided to let the beard grow and go for the whole crazy hermit look. But then on monday I was feeling depressed and decided I needed a change, so I trimmed the beard short and shaved my head. It helped a little. Not quite as much as dying my hair blond used to help back in the late 90s, but any change is good change.