I had a dream sunday night where I discovered that penguins don't really mate for life. Yes, my friends, we've all been fed a crock of lies!!! I'm not sure how I went about making this troubling discovery, but after I started announcing it to the world, several penguin enthusiasts made vicious attempts on my life. Gun-toting penguin fanciers had me in their sights almost constantly. Frankly, it's a miracle that I survived. Clearly I had underestimated the reaction my startling news would have.
Then last night, I had a dream where I discovered that kittens aren't really soft. And you know what? This time I kept it to my goddamned self.