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Diary of an Ass Monkey
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Asses are the Human race's favorite thing. We like them on each other. We like them on magazine covers. We even like them on babies. When we are alone we like to scratch them. When there's a fire we like to warm them. And whom among us, in a lonely moment, hasn't reached back for a discreet fondle? We love our asses.

When God gave us our asses he had to stick them round back just so we wouldn't sit and stare at them all day. Cause when God made the ass he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye Angels, I have created the ass, throughout the ages to come men and women will grab ahold of these and shout my name.'

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Also, check out his musical stylings.]

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