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14 May 2008 @ 09:10 am
wayback wednesday: Little Red Corvette  
I was so enjoying Prince's "Little Red Corvette" on the way into work today that I had to play it three times. It's such a great song that I just have to talk about the lyrics.

I guess I shoulda known
by the way you parked your car sideways
That it wouldn't last


One thing that has always confused me about this song is whether the "little red corvette" is strictly a metaphor or if there's also a real corvette this girl is driving. From this verse, it certainly seems like there is some make of automobile present. Either that or we're talking about some serious kama sutra stuff here.

See you're the kinda person
that believes in makin' out once
Love 'em and leave 'em fast


As we'll soon discover, Prince has dramatically underestimated the extent of her beliefs.

I guess I must be dumb
'Cuz you had a pocket full of horses
Trojan and some of them used


Some of you may be thinking "ew!" at that last line, but I find a lot to admire about her in it. First, she's a believer in safe sex, which I think we can all commend. Two, she doesn't litter. I hate seeing used condoms laying around the city. I've heard stories about people washing and reusing their condoms. I'm not certain that's what this lady's planning to do, but if so, she also gets points for recycling.

But it was Saturday night,
I guess that makes it all right
And you say what have I got to lose?


This is, I think we can all agree, a pretty goddamn air-tight philosophy.

And honey I say
Little red corvette
Baby you're much too fast
Little red corvette
You need a love that's gonna last


It's always surprising and cute when Prince says something kinda prudish.

I guess I shoulda closed my eyes
When you drove me to the place
where your horses run free


I love this part so much. Prince is like the poet laureate of sleeping around.

'Cuz I felt a little ill
When I saw all the pictures
Of the jockeys that were there before me


So does she photograph all her lovers during sex and decorate her apartment with the pictures? Or are they still in her car? Was there ever a car?

Believe it or not
I started to worry
I wondered if I had enough class


You know, I remember Prince being kind of being dick to Appollonia when they went down to the lake in Purple Rain, but I still think he's at least as classy as someone who shows potential lovers all the used condoms they've got in their pocket.

But it was Saturday night,
I guess that makes it all right
And you say, "Baby, have you got enough gas?


Clearly, since they're already at the place where her horses run free, we're speaking of metaphorical gas here.

Oh yeah, little red corvette
Baby you're much too fast,
yes your Little red corvette
You need to find a love that's gonna last, oh-oh
A body like yours oughta be in jail
'Cuz it's on the verge of bein' obscene


I bet that's a pickup line Prince has actually used.

Move over baby, gimme the keys
I'm gonna try to tame your
little red love machine


We can safely assume that even if there is one, Prince is definitely not talking about her car here.

Little red corvette, baby you're much to fast
Little red corvette, you need to find a love that's gonna last
Little red corvette, honey you got to slow down
Little red corvette, 'cuz if you don't
your gonna run little red corvette right in the ground
Right down to the ground


Prince comes off as a little controlling sometimes. He should really stick to "I" statments. They're less accusatory. I would like us to slow down. I am concerned about the speed at which we're going and the toll it make take on us. Nah....

U -- U -- U got to slow down
You're movin' much to fast
You need to find a love that's gonna last
Girl, you got an ass like I never seen
And the ride... I say the ride is so smooth
you must be a limousine


Ladies, when you've been praised by Prince, you know it.

 
 
Listening to: Prince - "Little Red Corvette"
 
 
 
zantimisfit on May 14th, 2008 02:39 pm (UTC)
HAH! Purple Rain is a great album. I haven't listened to it in so long. When the movie came out (when I was like 15), Peth and I went to see it. Her father drew a little cartoon of us all waiting in line, drawing himself as dressed like Prince.
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: devilish tantrumassmonkeydiary on May 14th, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC)
Awesome... I had a roommate who needed to watch Purple Rain several times a year. It was almost an ritualistic event and attendance was mandatory.
ghibli_geek on May 14th, 2008 03:18 pm (UTC)
You have made me laugh out loud, sir. Well done.
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: ballerina escapeassmonkeydiary on May 14th, 2008 03:20 pm (UTC)
And that in turn makes me happy! Woo hoo!
doNUT!donutgirl on May 14th, 2008 04:45 pm (UTC)
That's not Lake Minnetonka.
a foxy vixen, so illustriousgloriamunty on May 14th, 2008 05:36 pm (UTC)
This might be my favorite LJ entry of all time.
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: monkey ballassmonkeydiary on May 14th, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks! It was fun to write.
traballenguastraballenguas on May 14th, 2008 06:09 pm (UTC)
The used condom lyric has rubbed me the wrong way (ew, not the right metaphor to mix in there) for decades. Perhaps she has a PACK of condoms, from which some are missing, as they have been used.

I am sure she is just as ecologically minded, and doesn't leave them lying around town, or in the (possible) corvette. Just in the garbage, and not her pocket.
Pallaspallasathene8 on May 14th, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
"One thing that has always confused me about this song is whether the "little red corvette" is strictly a metaphor or if there's also a real corvette this girl is driving."

Girl? What makes you so sure he's talking about a girl? Prince is the gayest fucking shit ever.

But, judging from the second car metaphor in the final stanza, I am going to say that the car does not exist, but that Prince just has a tendency to view people as machines.

I think you should continue to analyze lyrics involving asses, because this was the most amusing post I've read in weeks. From anyone--I'm not implying your posts have been lackluster lately.
captian_whamo on May 14th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
wow. i think you've done humanity a service here...
hopefoot: boinghopefoot on May 15th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)
Prince is like the poet laureate of sleeping around.

You have no idea. You just scratched the surface here. :D

This was awesome BTW.
lilyvalleylilyvalley on May 15th, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
heh. Hope's right.

Do Darling Nikki next.
Tinelithtinelith on May 15th, 2008 06:48 am (UTC)
I love this post :)
(Anonymous) on May 16th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
Happiness
This post brought me joy. I will share it with my ass-lovin' Prince-fan friends.

--Quiconque (charismaticmegafauna.wordpress.com)
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: blue statueassmonkeydiary on May 16th, 2008 11:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Happiness
Excellent!
(Deleted comment)
Diary of an Ass Monkey: amd: blue statueassmonkeydiary on May 21st, 2008 01:13 pm (UTC)
Yeah, every once in a while I can make it work out like that. Most often on Wayback Wednesdays oddly enough.

And nice user pic!